A PROPER DAY AND HOME AGAIN

It's 5.30 am and I'm up and looking for something to do. My usual left ear whistling tinnitus has suddenly stopped and is replaced by a booming rhythmical beat from an ensemble of keyboard and stringed instruments. I thought I might be picking up London's Capital FM radio station directly into my head.

At 6am it changes to a church pipe-organ tune but I'm not seeing angels. That is, until one appears with another cup of tea!

This tinnitus is weird. 

I search my brain for words to describe it while it is fresh in my mind and I can sit and just listen to it undoubtedly coming from the region of my left ear. The right one continues with its normal low level whistle. It is easily ignored when other sounds come in so I don't find it disturbing and hardly notice it most days unless it tries to compete with loud noises that surround me.  This new one is very different. That is a positive but not precise position. I stays there and is always there but I know I can't really physically hear anything with this ear, not now or ever by normal means again. But this is so real! Relatively loud and positive, better than anything I have heard with this ear in a long time.

Firstly, where is it coming from? My brain says left side and a little forward. The tune is jolly and purposeful with a quick tempo. The notes are mainly low and booming but blended into each other as they play a distinct harmonic melody. I can almost identify what it is but not quite. It is like listening to a conversation in another room through the wall so you know it is someone speaking but not clear enough to understand what they are saying. It's a jamming session with acoustic guitar picking then strumming interrupted with a blended keyboard going through its lower notes. Jaunty and variable without playing the same sequence twice. It is constant, same volume, same speed with interchanging instruments seamlessly joining in at random without breaking the rhythm. 
It's called Musical Ear Syndrome.

A new hospital day starts.

I may have been spoilt overnight by my carers who had time for me but now it is into the 'patient slow' hospital rush morning routine when you realise this is someone else's operation day. The priorities change as a dozen new arrivals are put on the board for today's operating sessions and they all need seeing to first. There are still a few things to do before I can finally go home and I am not the only one in the queue. 

It may have been twenty four hours since I was coming through that door but I was in no hurry to go out again. I had had an eventful but comfortable time and any frustrations were now gone as I could see how well I was and none of the potentially serious complications had happened. I had slept only eight hours (two or three of which were under the anaesthetic) in the previous forty eight hours but I was now wide awake.

When my turn came it was to take off the bandage round my head. That comfortable support last night was now getting hot and itchy so the cool breeze past my exposed ear was so good. My neck was locally tender below the operation site but no bruises were showing. It was stiff when turned to the left (it had been only to the right on the pillow) and there was a minor tooth ache over the third upper molar nearest to the operation. Resisting the stiffness was uncomfortable. I was now moving more and it showed me it didn't like it. The incision was right on the area my glasses fitted. The swelling was minor but in the way so it will need a cushion for a while. The movement and head freedom stirred up my tinnitus again and a harp joined in with drums tapping in short bursts. 

I needed an x-ray to confirm the position of my new electricals and then in my eagerness to depart I must not forget to concentrate on the information and advice given for my follow up appointments. So glad I had someone with me to do all that, it can be exhausting to concentrate for long periods when it is so important to fully understand what is wanted. I could get my hearing aid into my other ear now and the world came back to life. Being wheeled down to the xray department was the fastest I had moved since coming in to the hospital. When the wheelchair stopped in the waiting area my head was still travelling along the corridor which was sloping downhill and I seemed to be rolling down it towards the closed doors. It took a couple of minutes for me to slow down and correct my bearings. I was shown my x-ray afterwards at my request, I have seen many thousands before but none were of my head. It looked as if the surgeon had left his mobile phone inside the wound. A good explanation for the ringtone I was hearing!

Home was by hospital car service door to door. After that ride to x-ray I could not imagine how else such a long journey could be made safely and comfortably. I had to take home injections for the DVT prevention, tablets for pain (which I still had none of) and an appointment for next week to come back for a review.

I arrived home without pain, a stiff neck and still with that dry mouth. Small concerns for what had been an incredibly successful trip where the past details no longer matter. It is the future I look to now. 

And the band played on ....!

A post script to this blog.

It has taken two days for the saliva to return fully so that I can eat properly.

I can taste my saliva which is metallic and like drain cleaner.

The tinnitus is still there and jolly but much more low key.

Popping sensations come and go sometimes like tympani drums.

Turning my head too quickly leaves my head spinning but my walking is otherwise safe.

My neck is moving well but my jaw is difficult to open wide.

.....  and I still have no pain from the operation site which is enjoying the sunshine.